Die Smiling

As seen in national newspapers

"A searingly honest tale of love, life and death" – Sarah Wootton, Dignity in Dying

Die Smiling is a rare and intimate account of one man’s journey to Dignitas in Zurich and his ultimate triumph over suffering and disease.

Told with wit and candour, Julie Casson traces her husband Nigel’s extraordinary journey from diagnosis of motor neurone disease to his death.

A successful businessman and father of three, Nigel battles the degenerative disease with boundless courage and gritty good humour, until, faced with the unimaginable torture of a slow, living death – his spirit crushed, his body a tomb – he takes control. He decides to go to Dignitas to end his life, while he is still able to die smiling.

The family prepares for this enormous logistical and emotional challenge: the gruelling Dignitas process and the 800-mile road trip to Switzerland. They complete it with pragmatism and humour. Denying motor neurone disease its victory and choosing his own cure, Nigel dies happily, in the arms of his wife and children.

This is a thought-provoking and deeply moving book, where love, family, dignity and choice conquer adversity. It sits in the heart of the debate on assisted dying and raises questions about the right to put an end to suffering and the right to choose how life should end.

As Britain considers introducing an assisted dying bill, Die Smiling allows supporters of both sides of the debate to go inside a family battling a terminal illness and the difficult journey an individual and close relatives and friends go through at the end of life. It is a frank and loving memoir that explains the reality of MND's cruel symptoms and the experience of going to Dignitas.

Written with the tenderness of With the End in Mind and the joy of Dr Rachel Clarke's Dear Life, this book has stayed in the minds of readers: an intimate portrait of a family loving life and united in death.

Although Die Smiling is a personal memoir and definitely not a campaign book, its publication has been welcomed by Sarah Wootton, CEO of Dignity in Dying, as an important contribution to the debate on assisted dying.

'Julie Casson lays bare the devastating human impact of the UK’s ban on assisted dying, capturing precisely why true choice at the end of life is a movement whose time has come for this country. By turns uplifting and heart-wrenching, Die Smiling is a searingly honest tale of love, life and death, and a powerful contribution to a historic debate.' – Sarah Wootton, CEO Dignity in Dying

Contents

1. Looking Back 3

2. Death’s Calling Card 6

3. Brenda and Methuselah 15

4. Tests, Tests and More Tests 23

5. The End of ‘Normal.’ 32

6. Life with MND Begins 44

7. Breaking the News 53

8. The Wailing Weeks 67

9. Spain 81

10. The Bucket List 85

11. Where Hope Dies 91

12. Not Ready for This 98

13. Our Spanish Love Affair 103

14. Two Steps Ahead 112

15. MND Declares War 122

16. Don’t Forget Me 126

17. Cost More Than our First House 132

18. Starting to Die 137

19. 22 July 2011 147

20. Every Day is a Bonus 157

21. Don’t Laugh at my Cock 164

22. Toileting Matters 179

23. When the Laughter Stops 191

24. It’s All About Control 203

25. Apply to Die 210

26. The Provisional Green Light 226

27. Last Christmas 238

28. The Recce 247

29. Appointment with Death 264

30. Twenty-five Days Left to Live 283

31. The Goodbyes 295

32. The Hotel and the Doctor 303

33. One More Day 314

34. Nigel’s Cure 328

35. Nigel’s Last Goodbye 345

Acknowledgements 356