Finally, a parenting book which demystifies the latest thinking on neurobiology, physiology and trauma and explains what the research means for the everyday life of parents of children who hurt. As experts on adoption and fostering who are adoptive parents themselves, Caroline Archer and Christine Gordon explain how this knowledge can help parents to better understand and care for their child. They explain why conventional parenting techniques are often not helpful for the child who has experienced early trauma and explore why therapeutic reparenting is the only way to help repair the unhealthy neurobiological and behavioural patterns which affect the child's development. They do not shy away from how difficult reparenting is, acknowledging how hard it can be to recognise our own fallibility as parents and to change our own parenting patterns. The authors also offer hard-won advice on a range of common parenting flashpoints - from defusing arguments and aggression to negotiating bedtimes and breaks in routine, and making sure that special occasions are remembered for all the right reasons. Reparenting the Child Who Hurts is a humane, no-nonsense survival guide for any parent caring for a child with developmental trauma or attachment difficulties, and will also provide information and insights for social workers, teachers, counsellors and other professionals involved in supporting adoptive and foster families.
Part 1. Stepping Forward: Understanding the Foundations. 1. Knitting Your Kid! Patterns of Knitting and Nurturing. 2. Fitting the Pieces Together. Part 2. What Can We Do? 3. Key Concepts. 4. Information: The Need to Know. 5. Laying the Foundations: Co-regulation for Self-regulation. 6. Rocking and Rolling. 7. Seeing Eye to Eye. 8. Object Permanence and Constancy. 9. Talking, Telling, Timing. 10. Loose Connections. 11. The Child Within the Child. 12. Taking, Borrowing and Difficulties with the Truth. 13. Making Changes, Managing Changes. 14. Special Occasions. 15. Holidays. 16. Siblings. 17. Taking Care of Ourselves. 18. Getting Help. Appendices. Glossary. Index.